She might pour you a glass of lemonade and have you sit with her on the porch to chat awhile while she susses out your particular tastes. Spankin's? Stockings? Spankings AND stockings? Looking for someone a might younger? How about I phone up Vern down at the tavern and see if he can spare his half-wit daughter, Sissy? She can't read nor write, but she's a REAL quick study when it comes to figuring out what makes men horny! "TRUST ME," the woman in the red dress tells you. "Sissy'll be worth your bread."

Trixie also warns you that if Sissy or anyone else in house comes to any harm, red-dress lady's going to get her rifle and shoot the shit out of you. The sheriff's in her pocket so you WON'T be missed and your body will never be recovered. Then the accommodating woman distracts you from your fear by flashing you her VERY furry beaver. All better now? Come in and she'll pour you a proper drink . . .